風邪をひいて寝込んでいるのである。
（それにしても風邪をひいて寝込んでいる事実をてめえのウェブログに書くとはどんな了見なのだろうか？ そんなことを書くヒマがあったらとっとと寝てろ茶坊主が！ 結局人に「だいじょうぶ？ 体暖めて休んでね」とか心配してもらいたいのかオレは？ ああ、イヤだ！ 自分がどうしようもなくイヤだ！）
と既に3回目を数える『ネコ型プロレス』の真似にも飽きたので、近所のうどん屋『Ｄ』に這って向かう。
入り口にさしかかると「ほうとううどん、始めました」のチラシが貼ってあった。ほうとうといっても鍋焼きうどんに尋常じゃない量の南瓜を投入しただけの代物だ。それでも「こんなにぶちこまれて一体どうすりゃいいんだ？」とでも言いたげなうどんと南瓜が余所では見られないはっちゃけたテンションを生み出し、味はなかなかに旨い。
腫れ上がった咽喉から搾り出すように「ほうとううどんを……」と注文すると、店の三角定規体型バアさんが食いついてきた。
「ほうとううどん！？ いいタイミングで来たわね。今日から始めたのよ！」
「……はあ」
「昨日までは出してなかったの。あんたウチのほうとううどん食べたことある？」
「……去年……何回かは」
「何？ あるの！？ じゃあ今年が初めてってことね！」
どうにも不毛な話題を繰り返しているのだ。しかし今日から再開したメニューを注文されて喜んでいるバアさんを相手に、ローテンションで対応しているのは忍びない。私は最後の力を振り絞ってバアさんに話しかけた。
「ということは、もしかして僕が今年最初にこの店で注文した客なんですかね！？」
明らかに聞こえてるはずなのに、それを無視して奥の厨房に引っ込んでいくバアさん。
風邪をひいて寝込んでいるのである。
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